DID YOU KNOW TORII HUNTER OF THE MINNESOTA TWINS RISKED A THREE YEAR BAN FROM BASEBALL FOR SENDING 4 BOTTLES OF CHAMPAGNE TO THE KANSAS CITY ROYALS CLUBHOUSE AS A REWARD FOR THEIR SWEEP OF DETROIT THAT GUARANTEED THE TWINS WOULD FINISH FIRST IN THE AMERICAN LEAGUE CENTRAL. THE CHAMPAGNE WAS RETURNED UNOPENED AND A ROYALS PITCHER REWARDED HUNTER'S GENEROSITY BY HITTING HIM IN THE MOUTH WITH A 93 MILE AN HOUR FASTBALL ON THURSDAY NIGHT.
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I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SAY THAT TOUR DE FRANCE WINNER FLOYD LANDIS WOULD LOOK LIKE A VICTIM IN THE FRENCH STEROIDS INVESTIGATION. THE PARISIAN TESTING LAB AGAIN LEAKED RESULTS OF SUPPLEMENTARY TESTS TO THE FRENCH NEWSPAPER L'EQUIPE. SO FAR WE'VE HAD MISLABELED, MISPLACED AND MISHANDLED TEST RESULTS FROM THE LAB BLURRING WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN AN OPEN AND SHUT CASE.
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IN THE MIDWEST THE FBI HAS BEEN CALLED IN AFTER TV NETWORKS RECEIVED DOZENS OF THREATENING LETTERS CRITICIZING TV CREWS FOR CONTANTLY TRAINING THEIR CAMERAS SALACIOUSLY ON CHEERLEADERS DURING COMMERCIAL BREAKS. THE MAIN COMPLAINT SEEMS TO BE THAT THOSE SHOTS NEVER MAKE THE TELECAST WHICH HAS APPARENTLY INFURIATED A SEGMENT OF THE FEMALE POPULATION. IN PART THE LETTERS SAY "WE HAVE ASKED NICELY FOR YOU TO RESPECT U AND ALL WOMEN. YET YOU REFUSE." A FIVE-THOUSAND DOLLAR REWARD HAS BEEN OFFERED FOR INFORMATION. SOUNDS LIKE A JOB FOR THE OFFICE OF HOMELAND SECURITY TO ME.
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HOW ABOUT THE INTOXICATED BURGLAR IN STATESBORO GEORGIA. HE BROKE IN TO A HOUSE IN STATESBORO GEORGIA EARLIER THIS WEEK AND THREATENED THE RESIDENTS. A NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR CALLED POLICE. ACCORDING TO THE POLICE REPORT THE WOULD BE BURGLAR KEPT REPEATING "BARRY BONDS DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE HOME RUN KING."
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ONE TEAM IN THE CROATIAN 3RD SOCCER DIVISION YOU'LL BE FASCINATED TO KNOW, HAS A "SHEEP BONUS". IF A "DEFENDER" SCORES A GOAL THE SPONSOR WILL GIVE THAT PLAYER A SHEEP. TEAM DEFENDER IVICA SUPE HAS AN INCREDIBLE 16 GOALS. NO INDICATION WHAT USE THE SHEEP ARE BEING PUT TO BUT I'M SURE IVICA WILL THINK OF SOMETHING.
AND SO IT GOES IN THE WORLD OF SPORTS.
1 comment:
You might have something interesting to say, but me and most of the world will never know, as we can't stand this inane ALL CAPS style of writing. Get a clue (or at least an editor). Jesus.
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